I've done this a lot, y'know. Not blogging, no. But a self-reflecting-sit-down-talk-figuring-out-myself kinda thing. I tell myself things to cheer myself up, most of the time. Other times the talks aren't so great. It's filled with self-doubt, self-hatred and a constant voice inside my head discouraging me to not live the way I do anymore.
I tell myself a lot. I tell her that I want to be someone who ten years from now will look back at all the things that i've done and give myself a pat on the back for surviving. I think that's what I want to be in life. Someone who's proud of herself, sure maybe for succeeding and living large or maybe for just barely scraping by to make ends meet at the age of 31. But I want to be someone who's proud to be myself. Why?
Because if I had to look back ten years then I'd have to say that I'm completely ashamed of who I was/am. I don't even have to look back ten years, just last year (no thanks to facebook 'memories') I look back at all the posts that I've posted and I cringe a little inside. Was I that childish? Was I so attention-seeking? Why? Why? Why!
Truth is, I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of. I've done a lot of things I wish I could take back. And I don't want to do that anymore. I want to be someone who's proud to make her own decisions and say yes even if this path turns out to suck balls I still am glad I chose this.
So in conclusion.
Ten years from now. Whoever you are. I hope you're proud with yourself. I hope you achieved the things you wanted in life. I hope you know that everything will be okay. And most importantly, I hope you're happy. 0 comments
