2/365

It's finally 2015. I feel somewhat obligated to do a new year resolution post and so I shall.

Twenty-fourteen was definitely one heck of a roller-coaster ride. There has been ups and downs and curves and twists but in the end I survived it, safe and sound. There are things I'd like to forget and there are things I'd like to keep, close to my heart. Friends have come and gone, some stayed with me throughout and put up with the crappiest sides of me. I reluctantly had to let go of things I know were bad for me, and I had to force myself to not think of the past. There had been conflicts and hardships and joy and all of it made twenty fourteen unconquerable. I say unconquerable because there will be no other year that could furnish the experiences that I've reaped from twenty fourteen and there will be no other year that could have given me so much hope and distress at the same time.

I've had fall outs with friends that I thought would be there for me forever. I've had to face the music of my own devise. I'd have to figure out what people needed, even though there was no need for me to. I've had to make sure that not everyone thought I was a complete ass. Those were the times.

I've had to have a change of scenarios, things I thought would never happen, happened. I've made ton of new friends, but lost a kindred of the same amount.

One thing that surprised me the most was the fact that I actually survived twenty fourteen. I could've sworn I couldn't make it through.

To my friends and family who stayed with me throughout, thank you for making this year something special, though its not all great. Thank you for putting up with the person that makes you feel futile most, if not all of the time. Thank you for staying by my side when I was vulnerable and stupid. And most of all thank you for believing in me when I sure as hell didn't believe in myself.

It's finally twenty-fifthteen and I'm so tired of wishing that this year will be better than the last. Que sera sera, right?

Whatever will be, will be.

And even if the year starts off without a "bang", or if the year turns out to be a shitty year, whatever it is I'll try and stay strong and believe that I can still survive another 365 pages. I mean, lots of protagonist survives (and lets not forget on several occasions they are on the brink of death) like a trilogy, three remakes of a movie, seven seasons of ABC productions, one extended movie and like two edited versions. So I'm sure I'll be fine.

P.S. 哥。。你最近好吗？看来你很忙所以没跟你联络。过不久发现没有你在我也无法可说。我常常跟你说我是你的守护天使但是我突然发现我不是。。。但你是我地守护 谢谢你。不管你多谋的忙只要我说我心里不舒服你就会马上打来问说发生了什么事。。。常常为我担心为我支持跟我说些好听的话。我先在知道了说你那时候需要我的那时我没有相信你我没有为你想。我只为了自己想要听的话把他都听进去了然后把你丢下来。新年快乐哥。我恨对不起。 我很爱你。我现在知道了。我希望你会一直在我身边为我努力为我开心 因为我先在知道了。我现在懂了。你需要我的时候我一定会在你身边 我一定会为你努力 为你支持 为你发出个笑容。我爱你哥。真的。不管多久我会在你身边。永远。因为你是我的每个你。

P.P.S.  ㅁㅅ오빠. 울 오랫동안 안만났는데 이렇게 쓰는거 좀 어색하네요. 저도 오빠 이편지를 읽어나 안읽어날거지 모릅니다. 일단 전 한국말 오랫동안 못한니까 문법이 안좋으면 최송합니다. 전 오빤 요즘 많이 바쁘고 힘들오고 들었대요. 오빠 생각도 많이있고 오빤 몸이 별로 안좋아한거 다 알거있습니다. 오빠 오랫동안 전부터 지금까지 왜 몸이 챙기않해요? 이렇게 하면 오빠 진짜 병원이 가면 어떻게요? 누가 시간이 있는거 오빠 24시간 챙길수있을거에요? 다 넘 바쁘잖아요. 준형오빠? 아니면 홍이오빠? 안됐찮아요 오빠도 알잖아요. 다 바쁘니까.. 일도있고 연습도있는거 알잖아요. 오빠 이렇게 하면 안돼요! 제발.. 한번만 다른사람들이 생각하지말고 그냥 오빠만 생각해주세요. 암튼 제가 "오빨 잘지내고있어요?" 라고 안물어불께요. 저랑 오빠도 둘이 다 알잖아요 오빠 지금 잘지내냐고. 그럼.. 이만... ^^ 감사해요오빠. 전 기휘가 주신고. 감사드립니다. 제가 오빠의 맘이 잊이벌릴수가없어요. ^^ ㅇㅅ홧팅. 오빠도 홧팅! 제가 이제 그만 좋아할거에요. 힘들겠지만 저 오빠위해 이제부터 암곳다 할수없어요. 모르는척이 할게요. 오빠도 저도 이렇게 더 편해요. 그럼... 보고싶어요오빠 그리고 힘내세요. :)