How do you find yourself?
It's funny because I've written this title over and over in my head. I've typed and backspaced on this post for the millionth time, but this time it'll stay. However bad it is.
Self-discovery is probably the hardest thing to do for most if not all of the human population. We constantly struggle with the path to discover ourselves. Figure out what we want in life, who we're supposed to be, or if we're supposed to be anyone at all.
I'm still trying to find myself too. I'm so agitated with myself for adhering onto my old lifestyle in the past that I resist to let go, and I think that's what most people are afraid of. To let go.
It has to be hard to leave everything behind and move on. Close that last bittersweet chapter of your life and open up a new one on a whole new blank canvas. It's hard to know where to start but even harder to know what to start with.
Should I start with a pencil outline? Should I go straight to the paint? Should I use soft crayons instead? It's basically like trail and error. You try something, it doesn't work out, you try again.
But someone told me that life is what you make of it, you can spend the rest of your life persistently whining about how much your life sucks and how you should be doing something you love. But do you really know what you love? Have you found what you're passionate for? If you have then why the fuck are you still doing that boring 9-5 job?
People then retorted saying it's because they "can't" do it. What do you mean by you "can't" do it? Don't you know? If theres a will theres a way.
I'm not here to put you down, but I'm here to give you that little push that you need. Find yourself. Come on.
Start today. Ask yourself daily.
"Who am I?"
Who are you? Who are you really? The girl with jet black hair. The guy with glasses. The computer whiz that went to Harvard. The journalist-to-be in NYU.
No.
You define yourself. So ask yourself, who are you? Give yourself one word to describe you, don't ask people for their opinion on you. Ask yourself. Because at the end of the day, the people around you are not going to live the life you're living. You're responsible for your own, so how do you want to live YOUR life?
"What do you see yourself doing 5 years down the road?"
I don't know? It's a very common answer. But don't just stop thinking about it. At night, when you're about to fall asleep spend the last five minutes in your bed asking yourself, in five years time where would I be?
At Harvard doing law? At an office cubicle working your ass off? At a recording studio making your first EP album?
Don't be scared to dream big, no matter how big and fucking ridiculous the dream may sound.
Being the next president? Why the fuck not?
It's all what you put into today that will shape who you are in five years, ten years, thirty years. Every day you'd have to face decisions. But one thing to remember is don't ever regret the choices you made because remember that they're something you once wanted.
[A/N: NOT BETA-ED]
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