I've been perceived by many as a person who's "heartless" and "cold". I've been described my numerous as "ignorant" and "reckless".
People tell me that I look like the type that doesn't care what the society thinks of me, I've been told that I'm somewhat a rebel. No. None of that is true. What bothers me the most is what people think of me, the expectations they have, and I think thats what led me to believe that what they think of me is who I really am.
Being put down, being constantly reminded that I'm not good enough or smart enough for something, I think that's what changed it all. Constantly reminded by the haunting thought that the people around you has no faith in you, you sort of grasp that context pretty loudly in your head over a couple of years.
How far do I have to go to understand who I really am? Is what they label me concrete?
The dispiriting thought sank into the depths of my brain, it grew like veins throughout me and it kept telling me that the confidence I'm feeling will not last. I began self-doubting. I think thats where the darkness started, it creeped into my veins and once it did I sort of lost all control.
I lost all my sanity.
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