Surreal.

1.01AM

Now that I think about it, Singapore was an eventful year. Even if it was being there for just a year changed me immensely. It doesn't matter who you are, if our paths crossed, I just want you all to know that you're part of a maturing stage for me and I am truly grateful to have you all in it. Over the whole chapter of my life in Singapore, I was able to earn friends, knowledge, experience amongst other things. Whether you've walked into my life and left nothing but vague imprints and memories or whether its the ones that stayed with me since the start, you're all part of me.

All the friends I've made through the year, I know that I could be a pain in the ass sometimes but thank you for putting up with me. I know this letter is long overdue but something finally knocked some sense into this incoherent mind of mine to finally write to you all.

The dungeon people, you know who you are, thank you for always bringing liveliness into the room, for always motivating me with work and for always putting so much effort into helping me through hard times.

The snails, you are the ones that started out with me and thank you for always always always cheering me up on a bad day. You're all very precious to me and you've literally stuck with me since the start and I dont know how to express this gratitude of mine.

Fashion people, ya'll rock. Some I know since the start, some later but nevertheless, you're all fucking special to me. Though we sometime spend time separately because ya'll doing your sewing and shit, you're all fucking talented to me.

#BMcrew, though we've only been able to get together for a sem, ya'll were supposed to be my future classmates. I was supposed to do the meaningless fake news with ya'll and help ya'll with your vine videos and shit. Sorry for not being there as promised and sorry I couldn't continue down the journey with you all. But please know that you all are amazing and even if it was just a term ya'll really made me feel welcomed and blessed to be part of the #BMcrew. Remember our VJ performance at Homeclub? It was amazing, first time showcasing our talent to the rest of the student body and all the guests, ya'll were nervous as fuck and the time we used to prepare.

And the zouk partner in crime! Ya'll really changed me the most. From a non-party-go-er to a twice-a-week-at-least party person. It was great being introduced to the crowd and I couldn't believe all those times we spent together until 5am in the morning trying to get home and the cab line is just fucking crazy. Remember when we're like fuck this shit and walked all the way to like idk where? Good times.

Theres one friend that I'd really like to thank. Sticking with me since day-1, and I wouldn't have survived first year without her. This is long overdue, as I've said but I wasn't able to show my gratitude towards her enough. She's helped me through the hardest times and she's the only one who showed various acts of selflessness towards not just me but everyone around her. Liking the same thing to even looking almost identical, I think this is what God has planned for us. So thank you so very much for being such a nice person and I'm sorry you have to deal with my attitude and moodswings sometimes but you held it all together so thank you. You're so strong, so talented, and so amazing so please know that wherever you go, you'll succeed. I'm truly grateful to have met you, out of all people. I'm thankful God gave me a chance to get to know you and be your friend and I'm sorry we're not together at the moment but I'll find a time to visit you soon!! I'll work hard towards my future and I want to be the same pillar of strength you lean on for support when you're tired, I want to be the same as you are to me.

My time in Singapore might have come to an end but the people that mattered most to me will always stay with me no matter what. You're all amazing people and you're all blessed to have come together in one small place. I'm truly blessed to have been able to go through the blood-shedding experience with you all and for what its worth, you all will be the shape of the future. I'll look back at this chapter of my life and realize that I was truly blessed to be able to mature in such a place with you people. Thank you for making my life an eventful ride and thank you for letting me learn how to love.

I hope one day we cross paths again, and when that day comes, I want to be able to say "You've come such a long way, I'm so proud of you!" 0 comments

{F01} A Road To Self-Discovery

How do you find yourself?

It's funny because I've written this title over and over in my head. I've typed and backspaced on this post for the millionth time, but this time it'll stay. However bad it is. 

Self-discovery is probably the hardest thing to do for most if not all of the human population. We constantly struggle with the path to discover ourselves. Figure out what we want in life, who we're supposed to be, or if we're supposed to be anyone at all. 

I'm still trying to find myself too. I'm so agitated with myself for adhering onto my old lifestyle in the past that I resist to let go, and I think that's what most people are afraid of. To let go. 

It has to be hard to leave everything behind and move on. Close that last bittersweet chapter of your life and open up a new one on a whole new blank canvas. It's hard to know where to start but even harder to know what to start with. 

Should I start with a pencil outline? Should I go straight to the paint? Should I use soft crayons instead? It's basically like trail and error. You try something, it doesn't work out, you try again.

But someone told me that life is what you make of it, you can spend the rest of your life persistently whining about how much your life sucks and how you should be doing something you love. But do you really know what you love? Have you found what you're passionate for? If you have then why the fuck are you still doing that boring 9-5 job? 

People then retorted saying it's because they "can't" do it. What do you mean by you "can't" do it? Don't you know? If theres a will theres a way. 

I'm not here to put you down, but I'm here to give you that little push that you need. Find yourself. Come on. 

Start today. Ask yourself daily. 

"Who am I?" 

Who are you? Who are you really? The girl with jet black hair. The guy with glasses. The computer whiz that went to Harvard. The journalist-to-be in NYU. 

No. 

You define yourself. So ask yourself, who are you? Give yourself one word to describe you, don't ask people for their opinion on you. Ask yourself. Because at the end of the day, the people around you are not going to live the life you're living. You're responsible for your own, so how do you want to live YOUR life?

"What do you see yourself doing 5 years down the road?"

I don't know? It's a very common answer. But don't just stop thinking about it. At night, when you're about to fall asleep spend the last five minutes in your bed asking yourself, in five years time where would I be? 

At Harvard doing law? At an office cubicle working your ass off? At a recording studio making your first EP album? 

Don't be scared to dream big, no matter how big and fucking ridiculous the dream may sound. 

Being the next president? Why the fuck not?

It's all what you put into today that will shape who you are in five years, ten years, thirty years. Every day you'd have to face decisions. But one thing to remember is don't ever regret the choices you made because remember that they're something you once wanted. 

[A/N: NOT BETA-ED]

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